Wonderfully made...

Yesterday we had our first Parents-child conference. Yes you read it right, not a PTC (Parent-Teacher Conference) but a Parents-child Conference. I guess this has been something that is due in our family. We normally have conversations during dinner time but this one was more formal. Not intimidatingly formal since the kids had a blast waiting for their turn and looking forward to their "talk".

It was the right time and the right topic too. We have just received the children's school report and we decided to sit down with them regarding what the teacher told us. For Milos we were not so concerned since the remarks were favorably good. Katie, on the other hand, had some surprising feedback from her teacher which we felt needed to be talked about immediately. The process was simple, we sat, gave her information on what the teacher said, asked her what she thinks or could remember and then asked again what can be done about it. I was surprised how "fluid"the conversations were. In my mind the thought of doing parent-child conferences is a bit daunting but after doing one with Katie and Milos last night, I feel like we've struck gold. It was the feeling after the talks that got me thinking, " doing conferences is yes a truly an investment of time but it is well worth it."

Why do I say that? Talking to Katie about her struggles made me realize that we were remiss in reminding her some things. Hearing from her the lines "ik durf het niet" made my heart melt. Our precious little one is struggling at a level that some might say petty, but these are her struggles. These are her fears and anxieties that came to light because we took the time to sit down and ask her while making her feel that she can talk to us about it. Yes, she is just 5 turning 6 and that her concerns of things being difficult might, for an outsider, be something that is fleeting. But I see it as a wake up call that I need to still remind her that things, specially new ones, can seem daunting. I even told her too what one of my most daunting experiences. Katie was wide-eyed as she listened how scared and unsure I felt when I first met her father after chatting with him for more than 3 years! She listened and I narrated. Her father gave his version too and in the end, she realized that she can feel unsure and that is normal. What got through to me though, much like a stab in the face, was how our precious daughter's eyes showed different emotions. Seeing the uncertainty in her eyes, I saw how that is reflected in mine when I do things. How I wish she is not so much like me but she is. She doesn't just run straight to the water, she wades through it, testing, and asking for confirmation and affirmation.

Ohhh and how her eyes glowed when we told her she is wonderful. Wonderfully made from fine stuff from her mommy and daddy! She literally basked in the praises and it hit me, yes we probably keep on forgetting to tell you and your brother that. So now let me write it to you so that when you grow up and can read this blog you will know how we see you (and Milos)

18:47
07-02-2013

Dearest Katie,

Your eyes lit up when we told you "You are Wonderful!" and from that glow in your face I was reminded we have been remiss in telling you this fact. You are born from strong parents whose circumstances in lives are different yet have connected. You are made from loving hearts and wonderful intentions. The entire process from your conception to your birth was a wondrous experience not just for me but also for your father. Each day that we see you grow, we see the beauty and wonder that life with you brings. You made us want to be better persons because we wanted to be better parents. Having you (and you brother) have ignited that wonder in us.

But perhaps we also need to remind ourselves how wonderful we are. For you and your brother are beauty and wonder coming from the beauty and wonder of us, your parents. Thank you for reminding us this and thank you for each day that we get to learn from each other.Your beauty is our beauty and your wonder is our wonder. But it is far more! As you go through in life believing in yourself and the many wondrous things you can do then you enrich the beauty and wonder that is in you. You just have to start from what is within and what is within you is wonderful.

 Love,
 Mama