Teaching gratitude through service

As a child you have probably played the game “Simon Says”. It’s a very ideal game to teach children to listen carefully and at the same time do the specific tasks mentioned. But along with instructions like  “touch your nose, touch your elbow, touch your ears, have you ever heard someone say “Simon says, touch your heart?” Probably not huh?

But why is it that it is quicker  for us parents to look forward to the time when we will be teaching concepts like the alphabet, numbers, colors and shapes to our young children. Eager to get them reading and writing. Now, how much did we put emphasis on teaching our children about emotions and how best to recognize and manage them? Or introspection and how they can reflect on their own thinking?  Or empathy and how it is important to be adept at perspective taking? So what if Simon says, show an angry face? Or think about what makes you excited? Or show how can we understand another person? What if the rules of Simon Says is not on listening and blatantly following but reflecting and understanding matters that are not tangible? What if Simon says, how do you touch somebody’s heart?

As parents of young children, we are very intentional in our approach to parenting. The activities that we provide at home and the interactions we promote serve a purpose and a reflects an understanding of the kind of values that we would like to share with our children. Values that we hope they will appreciate and value as well. One of such values that we emphasize on is about gratitude.

When the news about the devastating effect of Typhoon Haiyan came, I was distraught. I am grateful that my family are spared from it but after I saw the news and kept updated on what was going on, I felt helpless. What got me on my toes was helping projects related to raising funds for the victims. But it was not just me that was into it, the entire family got involved. Showing some of the clips to the children, we decided on what we can each do to help out. The kids turned to their art and made some thank you art pieces for some of the businesses that provided some donations. We also went as a family to the Giro 555 aktie and helped give food, lovingly prepared by other Filipina friends and with my husband's baked pandesal (Filipino breakfast bread rolls, yes a Filipino food prepared not by me but by my husband!), for the volunteers manning the telephone during that day.

Kids (Katie and Milos with their friend Rhean) presented their artwork to Henri van Eeghen, the chairman of De Samenwerkende Hulporganisaties (SHO)

What we got out of the experience as a family was encouraging. I immediately saw how the children are more aware of what is going around them and takes on another person’s perspective/experiences especially when they see something in the news. I knew that we were on a good track in nurturing reflective empathy – their ability to take another person’s perspective in order to understand what they’re feeling. The kids kept asking about how it is in the Philippines and at one point, Katie even made a wish that there will be no more storms to hit the country! With the simplest of activities, we can see how their empathy is working. There were even situations where they would cover their faces while watching embarrassing situations! 

Reflective Empathy is important in teaching pro-social or altruistic behaviours (engaging in activities simply for another person and not because they can get something out of it) and encouraged by what we shared during the Giro 555 aktie, we made it a point to put  giving back as a form of service or to show gratitude as an important part in our family values.

Hence, it was no surprise when I read of a post on volunteers needed to cook for the homeless. After someone posted of the Koken in een andere Keuken activity at the Stoelenproject at facebook, I knew that it would be a perfect opportunity to give thanks again as a family. The only day they had for January happened to be a day before my birthday and serendipity is definitely pointing me to grab the chance to give back and give thanks. 

Too bad we cannot exactly take photos of the event but I did got a photo of my husband washing the dishes and the little ones helped in getting the food ready. Armed with trays of food prepared by me and good friends, we had a very special time sharing what we have with the homeless who are part of this project (about 45 or so of them!) and gave thanks for another blessed year. My husband and I can only hope that we can continue to put the value of gratitude as an essential part of our lives. 

Served Filipino food! Something most likely different from what they are used to getting.

My husband doing the dishes.

This post is my simple contribution as we celebrate Martin Luther King, Jr. Day of Service by challenging our readers (and ourselves!) to take the time to do service with our children. Today some wonderful, wonderful bloggers are sharing ideas about the kinds of volunteer work they have done with their kids. Share your own ideas in the comments or by linking up below! You can also join the discussion in our Google + Community! For some ideas on doing volunteer work with kids, browse our list of family-friendly service projects or great organizations to support. You can also follow our Teaching Global Citizenship and Black History boards on Pinterest.

Participating Blogs

Multicultural Kid Blogs

Pennies of Time

365 Days of Motherhood

Africa to America

All Done Monkey

Discovering the World Through My Son's Eyes

The Good Long Road

Kid World Citizen

Learning to Be the Light

A Path of Light

Share your own posts below!

Finally a New Post for the New Year!

2013 was a wonderful year for our family and for my personal growth. It meant though not being able to blog as much as I would have wanted. But I am starting the new year with a new direction to 365 days of Motherhood. This year will be a year to get the kids more aware of  their heritage. This year I will be teaching them more songs in Tagalog and Kapampangan (oh my I would need to brush up on that!) and speak to them more in our language. It also means opening them to other cultural values (like teaching them "pakikisalamuha" since we love entertaining and mingling with others). They also love the book Onze Manieren (Our Manners) so I can move forward with this and get them into understanding and appreciating the Filipino psychology.

Well for now, I will sit back and enjoy the day while I await the thrills and excitement for this year. Expecting that there will be a lot of good things and challenges to come our way and I am ready for it. Like my journal says I will Keep Calm and Carry On :)

P.S. I know it isn't Christmas but it sure was a proud moment when the kids sang this:
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=486486521463895&l=1833940545388596138

What are my goals in parenting?

The past few days have been a blur of activities. Not much on the homeschooling front but on celebrations- you see our daughter turned 5 last week (and the day before was Tata's birthday)and before that we have to go through one health hurdle after another. Seeing Katie sick and finally getting confirmation that she has asthma has kept me on edge. It also made me more protective of her than usual. I guess its a common reaction but I am trying hard not to shelter her too much.

Five years ago, a great miracle came into our lives, now whenever I see her fluttering like a butterfly in the room and bursting like rays of sunshine, I tell myself if only time will not be so fast so I can enjoy the moments more.

But I am grateful that after the challenges of last year, I got the chance to be a full time parent again and enjoy these times with my children. I can see the big difference from how it was when I was working and how our lives are now. These days there are more cuddles on the sofa while watching, more talks during dinner time, more giggles and tickle time that is just out of the blue, more whispers of "I love you", more singing, more fooling around, in essence, we are experiencing more love and more life now than when I was juggling work and time with the family.

I also enjoy learning more how to BE PRESENT with my children and with my husband. One blog that I follow Hands Free Mama has been giving me big doses of positive confirmation on my involvement with the children. Her words remind me that I am not alone and that a lot of other parents felt the same guilt and went through the same tough choices. But most importantly Rachel's experiences also give me an insight on how I can better myself as a hands free parent.

This last part has been a thought that has nagged me for days. I love reading blogs and getting inspiration out of it. I oftentimes share these insights with my husband and we would in turn try the ideas out but there seemed to be a void that needed filling and I couldn't pinpoint what it was. It seemed like all the ideas are good and they help us a lot in interacting with the children but there seems to be a point that is lost somewhere. I know I might not be making much sense but for those who can relate to the feeling of going around in circles, enjoying the scenery but still not sure on where the destination is, that is how it felt. I realized that what was lacking was really pinpointing the source on why these insights, these activities with the children and the need to better myself.

Then the question hit me, "Why do I value them?" That question was coupled by another question that I read online, "what are your goals in parenting?" Both questions kept me reflecting on my role as a parent, as a partner and as a person. I even got guilty of the fact that I have been demanding too much on the children-my learning goals for the activities, what skills I want them to work on , etc... but have I also demanded so much from myself as a parent? what goals do I have as a parent? what skills do I need to work on?

Such heavy questions cannot be answered easily. But I did take that step and took the plunge to do one essential activity- to know our VALUES. So one evening, I sat with my husband and we tried doing this parenting exercise together.

We started with identifying our values as parents, then as partners and then as individuals. It was a deep exercise but one that I am glad we talked about since we realized how we have some commonalities in our values and also got to identify values that we now want to really work on as partners. I told my husband that I would make our list and post it as our family values. I definitely will share it once I have made it and once it is hanging on our wall. Both Boris and I can't wait until the kids are old enough to add in their values as well. But for now, it felt good knowing these values. Its not just a reaffirmation of what we treasure the most but its also a compass that can guide us as parents, as partners and as individuals.