My mantra

man·tra  

/ˈmantrə/

Noun

1. (originally in Hinduism and Buddhism) A word or sound repeated to aid concentration in meditation.
2. A statement that is frequently repeated; a characteristic formula or refrain. 

My mantra has always been a beacon of light that guides my actions. I am not deeply religious but I do take the time to be reflective not just as a parent but also as an individual. I can remember that during some tough moments of my life the mantra I used is "This too shall pass" and true enough they did. A very dear friend of mine, while consoling me after what I thought to be a tremendous loss, said that the sun will always shine no matter what. At that point, teary-eyed and all I held on to those words and the repeated "this too shall pass".

Fast forward more than a decade after, I still have my mantra. But the wonderful serendipitous events that occurred after those dark days were replaced by memories that cannot be fully captured by pictures or transcribed to pen. More than a decade after I started "Following thy bliss" and yes, true enough life is a bliss. Waking up wrapped in my husband's embrace, listening to the giggles coming through the next door, looking at the vast sky from our bedroom window, truly grateful that I resolved to find my passions and traverse the path to this blessed life, this space in the world and amongst the lovely people that I meet personally or virtually, day in and day out.

As I reflect now of how my mantra leads me, I am reminded of Gandhi's words:

“Your beliefs become your thoughts,
   Your thoughts become your words,
 Your words become your actions,
 Your actions become your habits,

Your habits become your values,
   Your values become your destiny.”

Perhaps now is the time to add another mantra, one that can go beyond me and my family. Seeing the Mantrabands I fell in love instantly with the mantras. But what appealed to me the most is "Be the change".

I can't wait to get my hands on this lovely reminder. Aysel I will be counting the days :)

So what is your mantra?

 

What are my goals in parenting?

The past few days have been a blur of activities. Not much on the homeschooling front but on celebrations- you see our daughter turned 5 last week (and the day before was Tata's birthday)and before that we have to go through one health hurdle after another. Seeing Katie sick and finally getting confirmation that she has asthma has kept me on edge. It also made me more protective of her than usual. I guess its a common reaction but I am trying hard not to shelter her too much.

Five years ago, a great miracle came into our lives, now whenever I see her fluttering like a butterfly in the room and bursting like rays of sunshine, I tell myself if only time will not be so fast so I can enjoy the moments more.

But I am grateful that after the challenges of last year, I got the chance to be a full time parent again and enjoy these times with my children. I can see the big difference from how it was when I was working and how our lives are now. These days there are more cuddles on the sofa while watching, more talks during dinner time, more giggles and tickle time that is just out of the blue, more whispers of "I love you", more singing, more fooling around, in essence, we are experiencing more love and more life now than when I was juggling work and time with the family.

I also enjoy learning more how to BE PRESENT with my children and with my husband. One blog that I follow Hands Free Mama has been giving me big doses of positive confirmation on my involvement with the children. Her words remind me that I am not alone and that a lot of other parents felt the same guilt and went through the same tough choices. But most importantly Rachel's experiences also give me an insight on how I can better myself as a hands free parent.

This last part has been a thought that has nagged me for days. I love reading blogs and getting inspiration out of it. I oftentimes share these insights with my husband and we would in turn try the ideas out but there seemed to be a void that needed filling and I couldn't pinpoint what it was. It seemed like all the ideas are good and they help us a lot in interacting with the children but there seems to be a point that is lost somewhere. I know I might not be making much sense but for those who can relate to the feeling of going around in circles, enjoying the scenery but still not sure on where the destination is, that is how it felt. I realized that what was lacking was really pinpointing the source on why these insights, these activities with the children and the need to better myself.

Then the question hit me, "Why do I value them?" That question was coupled by another question that I read online, "what are your goals in parenting?" Both questions kept me reflecting on my role as a parent, as a partner and as a person. I even got guilty of the fact that I have been demanding too much on the children-my learning goals for the activities, what skills I want them to work on , etc... but have I also demanded so much from myself as a parent? what goals do I have as a parent? what skills do I need to work on?

Such heavy questions cannot be answered easily. But I did take that step and took the plunge to do one essential activity- to know our VALUES. So one evening, I sat with my husband and we tried doing this parenting exercise together.

We started with identifying our values as parents, then as partners and then as individuals. It was a deep exercise but one that I am glad we talked about since we realized how we have some commonalities in our values and also got to identify values that we now want to really work on as partners. I told my husband that I would make our list and post it as our family values. I definitely will share it once I have made it and once it is hanging on our wall. Both Boris and I can't wait until the kids are old enough to add in their values as well. But for now, it felt good knowing these values. Its not just a reaffirmation of what we treasure the most but its also a compass that can guide us as parents, as partners and as individuals.

A Little Bling Each Day

I am fascinated how some blogs seem to draw me into reading them, like an invisble force that says, "click on it". Strange I know, but in these instances I feel like Serendipity is calling me and I just have to follow without question.

That's what I felt when I read Awesomely Awake's 9 Ways to Make Any Day Better. It was not as tear-jerking as the other blogs that Serendipity has thrown my way to contemplate and appreciate. This time it was a line that caught my eye and made me again rethink. Here's what that line was:

"Part of my awake journey is to ensure that each day has a little bling of living in it."

Isn't that a lovely thought? It gave me one of those "aha moments" where I question myself, how can I do that? Then I get reminded of the sparkle in the children's eyes when we do our exploration activities at home. Starting today, I definitely will try to do as much as I can to put a little bling in my life and the lives of those I love.

Milos with his shark face painted by his 4 almost 5 year old sister... such a bling in their eyes when they did this!

Distractions, distractions, distractions.... welcome to my life :)

I have blogged about getting sidetracked by wonderful blogs that inspire me to rethink about a lot of things from the personal to the professional level. Today, I stumbled upon another gem and for those parents/teachers who are keen on teaching art to their children then I suggest you to read Art Talk by Amanda Morgan from Not Just Cute. The chart she wrote is something we will definitely try when talking to the children about their artworks and when going to museums. I can't wait to see how the children will reply but I do know that it will foster deeper thinking!

Read through the replies to the post and the comment of Marla Maclean is also interesting to incorporate ( art as symbol/metaphor). Surely another distraction worth the time!

For all the heroes I know

Most of my days I get distracted. Pinterest is a very welcome distraction, and so are the tons of blogs that I have placed on "Like" in my facebook. Today, I am so grateful that I got again sidetracked to reading some posts. This wonderful post from Handsfree Mama reassured me of my heroic role as a mother to two lovely kids. Her post, The Hero Inside You struck a chord so hard making me realize that I don't reaffirm myself that much, nor do I give myself that pat in the back. So from now a daily dose of "Lana, you are a good mom" is added to my daily mantras.

Who Inspires You?

I was doing my assignment and one of the tasks is to view some videos online. After clicking one TED TALKS from Sir Ken Robinson after another I came across this one. Hope it gives you something to think about as well.

WHO INSPIRES YOU?