As a child you have probably played the game “Simon Says”. It’s
a very ideal game to teach children to listen carefully and at the same time do
the specific tasks mentioned. But along with instructions like “touch your nose, touch your elbow, touch your
ears, have you ever heard someone say “Simon
says, touch your heart?” Probably not huh?
But why is it that it is quicker for us parents to look forward to the time when
we will be teaching concepts like the alphabet, numbers, colors and shapes to
our young children. Eager to get them reading and writing. Now, how much did we
put emphasis on teaching our children about emotions and how best to recognize
and manage them? Or introspection and how they can reflect on their own
thinking? Or empathy and how it is
important to be adept at perspective taking? So what if Simon says, show an angry face? Or think about what makes you excited? Or show how can we understand another person?
What if the rules of Simon Says is not on listening and blatantly following but
reflecting and understanding matters that are not tangible? What if Simon says,
how do you touch somebody’s heart?
As parents of young children, we are very intentional in our
approach to parenting. The activities that we provide at home and the
interactions we promote serve a purpose and a reflects an understanding of the
kind of values that we would like to share with our children. Values that we
hope they will appreciate and value as well. One of such values that we
emphasize on is about gratitude.
When the news about the devastating effect of Typhoon Haiyan
came, I was distraught. I am grateful that my family are spared from it but after
I saw the news and kept updated on what was going on, I felt helpless. What
got me on my toes was helping projects related to raising funds for the victims.
But it was not just me that was into it, the entire family got involved.
Showing some of the clips to the children, we decided on what we can each do to
help out. The kids turned to their art and made some thank you art pieces for
some of the businesses that provided some donations. We also went as a family
to the Giro 555 aktie and helped give food, lovingly prepared by other Filipina
friends and with my husband's baked pandesal (Filipino breakfast bread rolls, yes a Filipino food prepared not by me but by my husband!), for the volunteers manning the telephone during that day.
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| Kids (Katie and Milos with their friend Rhean) presented their artwork to Henri van Eeghen, the chairman of De Samenwerkende Hulporganisaties (SHO) |
What we got out of the experience as a family was
encouraging. I immediately saw how the children are more aware of what is going
around them and takes on another person’s perspective/experiences especially
when they see something in the news. I knew that we were on a good track in
nurturing reflective empathy – their ability to take another person’s
perspective in order to understand what they’re feeling. The kids kept asking about how it is in the Philippines and at one point, Katie even made a wish that there will be no more storms to hit the country! With the simplest of activities, we can see how their empathy is working. There were even situations
where they would cover their faces while watching embarrassing situations!
Reflective
Empathy is important in teaching pro-social or altruistic behaviours (engaging
in activities simply for another person and not because they can get something
out of it) and encouraged by what we shared during the Giro 555 aktie, we made
it a point to put giving back as a form
of service or to show gratitude as an important part in our family values.
Hence, it was no surprise when I read of a post on volunteers needed to cook for the homeless. After someone posted of the Koken in een andere Keuken activity at the Stoelenproject at facebook, I knew that it would be a perfect
opportunity to give thanks again as a family. The only day they had for January
happened to be a day before my birthday and serendipity is definitely pointing
me to grab the chance to give back and give thanks.
Too bad we cannot exactly
take photos of the event but I did got a photo of my husband washing the dishes
and the little ones helped in getting the food ready. Armed with trays of food
prepared by me and good friends, we had a very special time sharing what we
have with the homeless who are part of this project (about 45 or so of them!)
and gave thanks for another blessed year. My husband and I can only hope that
we can continue to put the value of gratitude as an essential part of our
lives.
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| Served Filipino food! Something most likely different from what they are used to getting. |
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| My husband doing the dishes. |
