A Letter from Mama for Valentines

Dear Katie and Milos,

The past few months mommy have been trying to adjust to being back at home and not working. Although it took a bit of soul searching and with some nights going to bed till the tears run dry, I would just like for you to know that the struggle of being a stay home mom was not because of not wanting to be with you. The struggle was finally letting go of the plans I made before you both (three together with your father) came along in my life. You see I thought I had my life planned, the way you guys are now planning your every birthdays. I recall how much I wanted to be someone, do great things, travel to different places and that was how I envisioned my life to be. Naturally I wanted to have a family- a loving husband and lovely, witty children. But how to juggle everything was not something that I was fully prepared for.

The one year that I worked after having you two was one exciting time for me. I felt I was finally going back to what I know I can do best. I felt I was in my element. In some ways I was; finally I was doing something I was trained for, one that I have been doing for years. The months that I was working I thought I had it under control. I knew I was working too much and have a lot of times opted for fast foods instead of home cooked meals. We ended up taking groceries as our family events since I had some things that I needed to do on weekends. It took a jolt to the relationship of your father and I for me to realize how things are not under my control. Hence, I knew I had to make the changes needed. At the end of the day, the decision was easy. I finally realized that work is just that, work. You three on the other hand are my world.

Yesterday while finishing the last pieces of the work space we (well mostly I but your father cheered on merrily) made for the two of you, I felt a deep sense of fullfillment. Creating places for you guys to grow and learn is what I was trained to do, what I have studied for. All the homeschool activities we do and how much you take pleasure in them gives me such pride in what I can give for you. It dawned on me that I am SOMEONE- I am your mother who cares and loves you very much. I am DOING GREAT THINGS- the many different ways that your eyes and mind are opened up to the world because of what me and your father can provide in the hopes that you can grow up believing in your unlimited possibilities are great endeavors. So great and far reaching that it will affect not just our lives but the lives of your children and the generations after. I also realized that I am traveling places- going further than what I have envisioned. With you guys I am learning about great art works, learning new things, exploring the world in small places but highly relevant ones since it has meaning to what we are trying to learn about at home.

As we place the last finishing touches of your activity area and lounge, I know that I am in my element and as you sit, tinker and ponder in the corners of the house that are specially made for you two, I hope that you are also in yours.

Mahal na mahal ko kayo Katie and Milos and of course your Tata Boris. Looking forward to the years and Valentines to come.

love,
Mama

heART WORKS

Got to do some exciting art activities with the children yesterday. Milos was all giggles when we swirled and shifted the shoe box cover while doing marble painting. Katie, on the other hand, loved the "mommy and me" time while she talked about her pointillism artwork. Took us about an hour to finish but it sure was worth it. Here's what the kids came up with, their heART WORKS!

Primary Colors Video

We're still exploring colors and color mixing alongside the theme for February. Today I saw this sesame street primary colors video and it's just too good not to share!

A whole lot of loving going on...

The past few days we have been terribly busy doing one heart project after another. Althought most of them last only for a good 10 to 15 minutes or so, still it is nice to see that everone, including my husband is thoroughly involved with the monthly thematic activities. So just what have we been up to?

We don't have that much wall space so I decided to use our window as our theme board.

The children had a blast looking for the 14 hearts and my husband enjoyed practising his origami skills. Although Katie didn't make the origami heart, she sure was delighted to get one from her father.

We also had fun using the popcake maker for the first time. We used a ready-to-bake muffin mix though just to see how it works and had the children decorate it. Served together with warm Milo (chocolate drink) and some heart shaped marshmallows. Food for the soul on a very cold winter season!

Good thing my husband captured Katie's popcake wonder :) Just seeing their enthusiastic faces is enough to say, well worth the money spent.

There's still a lot in store for the children since I finally got their "mail writing station" done. Bought a cheap plastic heart frames and wrote "Guess how much I love you" in the middle. This will be our picture projects for the next few days. It goes well with the book "Guess How Much I love you"(we have the dutch version) that I placed on a bin together with the heart frame. I'll definitely post pictures soon. Another thing I am excited to do with Katie is the valentines kiddie sudoku that I prepared. I still have to see how she would fare with this activity, a wee bit of a challenge I think but after playing CirKis then I think she will just be fine.

WHEN MOTHERS DREAM

Early in the morning, the sun has yet to reveal itself to the world. The only sound in the room is the clicking of the clock and the faint snoring coming from the bedroom. In the wee hours of the morning, Katie woke up and crawled next to me in bed. Our bed, like an open door is always free for creeping angels wanting to bask in a cuddled slumber. Looking at her angelic face, I smiled, stirred to make some room and let her weary head fall back to my open arms. She slept unstirringly, while I was left looking at the ceiling trying to get some more zzz’s but it seems to elude me. That’s when it happens…

In the stillness of the night I found myself conjuring visions of what I would like a perfect family to be. A happy and healthy family, children all grown up-having lives of their own, going after their passions, stirring and making waves, me and Boris retiring to the Philippines, being financially secure and successful. The last thought stumped me, what is exactly the measure of “my” success. For the past few months after resigning from a job that I thought would relaunch myself to a career her in the Netherlands, I have been in limbo over what I would do professionally. I have always been ambitious, driven to excel and to make somebody out of myself and now I find myself conflicted of what to do, what to pursue and where to put my creative energy to good use.

That’s when it hits me like a brick. For more than a decade I have defined myself based on how far I get on the professional ladder. Work was life and life was work. When Boris came, the idea of setting down and having a family gave my life the icing on the cake. I knew I would be a good wife and mother. I dreamt of filling in those roles since I was a child playing pretend with our neighborhood buddies. I can still recall how we would round up small items, build our “house”at the side of the street and make concoctions out of leaves, water, soil and whatever we can get our hands on without being reprimanded of course. We would spend hours playing and I would spend hours being the mommy taking care of the family. When was the last time I spent such a long period focusing on that role? It has been years since my life became a part of someone else’s life and has taken a different route. But when was the last time that I really thought of being the BEST mom and wife to my family in the same driven force as I had with my career? Sadly enough, the answer is NEVER.

I took in the partner and mother roles like it was a bonus to the life that I curved out for myself. Thinking foolishly that life will go on as I envisioned it to be, easy peasy- me working, me being a wife, me being a mother- all compartmentalized images but not part of the whole. But I know a lot of mothers if not all will agree with me in saying “If only we were readied to the realizations that balancing these roles are never easy.” Like all those Princesses who after finding their Prince Charming, we thought life would stay at the “and-they-lived-happily-ever-after” zone. But that was the folly of fairy tales and being brought up to it. It skipped out the part that Sleeping Beauty and Prince Charming would often argue because they are beginning to realize that to make a marriage work they need to know each other more than just that one powerful first kiss. We were not privy to the fact that Cinderella still spent as much time cleaning, mopping, dusting, caring for the household, juggling through the chores, and at the same time holding on to three little Princesses, one at each arm, the other holding on to her legs and begging to be just with “Mommy”. We were also never told that after escaping her stepmother’s fury, Snow White came to the castle of her Prince only to find herself adjusting to her new in-laws who treat her civilly but have never really opened their arms to the addition of the family. After all Prince Charming took a vacation, was away for a while and then came back announcing “hey Mom and Dad, here is my wife Snow White!”and that was the start of another life for Snow White- caught between trying to fit in with her husband’s family and not knowing how.

These are the juicy secrets left out from us. Hence we were never really told and readied and our minds were filled with “When I grow up I will be this and that.” Most of my youth, my answer was consistent, “when I grow up I will be a pediatrician!”. Somewhere along the way I made a decision that changed my career path to being an educator. Looking back now, I wish someone had prepared me for this difficult transition from being a career driven lady to a family centered woman. Somehow I wish that stories told to me before bedtime and those I read in books as a child gave me a glimpse of what adults in relationships go through.
But it is never too late for such dreams. So now in the early hours of the morning while everyone is still asleep, in the time zone which I call, “when mothers dream” I find myself saying… “as I continue to grow, I will be the BEST MOTHER AND WIFE to my children and husband that I can ever be!”

Part 1: Making Thinking Visible at Home

I have been reflecting on some of the things we have applied recently regarding making thinking visible at home. Here are the top 3 activities that we are now starting with the children.

1. Make asking questions a routine.
The past few days we have started on the "5 things you did in school today" asking routine. This gets Katie to reflect on what she has done or who she has played with. Hopefully this routine instills in her not only the sense of awareness to her daily activities but also and more importantly get her to freely share her day's events (and keep such interaction up until she's an adult!). For the younger one, we use "3 things" instead of 5. As enrichment though whenever they answer a short line I always try to follow it up with questions such as where? with whom? what happened? how did you feel?

What is encouraging about this asking routine is that a few days ago after picking up Katie from school and asker her 5 things, she turned to me and said "now Mama your turn, what are 5 things you and my brother did at home?" Isn't that well worth the energy? :)

2. Start them early on mind mapping.
Children communicate best through drawings. After an eventful day, give them a diary/blank notebook where they can draw what they did or enjoyed for the day. Encourage them to draw what they did first, second, third, etc. Make a written account on their narration on a separate paper and then attach it at the back of their drawings so as not to ruin their creative output (this I am learning to do just now). For older children enrich the process by making simple mind maps with a center as a topic (or the date) and the branches with drawings of different events or activities. They can also be encouraged to draw symbols and use different colors to express different emotions. Later on this can be used as a planner for the day (What 5 things you will do/accomplish for the day) instead of being a recording of what has already transpired. I can't wait to get Katie into doing this! For now she is still practicing with her diary drawings but soon enough I'll definitely introduce this technique with her.

3. Don't be afraid to use "big words".
It makes me beam with pride whenever I hear our 3 and 4 year old say "I have a plan." Words like "think, reflect, design, create, constuct, and plan" should be staple words used in conversing with children. Remember that children need to be exposed to different terms to enrich their vocabulary and their repertoire of "thinking words" should also grow for them to fully express themselves and their thoughts.

No wonder that our 4 year old looked at me like I came from another planet when I asked her where she got the idea of wanting to ride a horse for her 6th birthday (yes, she has her birthday gifts planned till she's 17!!!). She looked at me, placed her index finger on her temple and said "from my brain Mama, I got the idea from my brain." :)

A Heart a Day for Valentines

February offers a lot of possibilities in terms of art activities for children. Being the "love month" I have decided to focus on "a heart a day activity" as our homeschool focus alongside the other activities that we have lined up for the children (will tell more about the Meet the Masters homeschool program and the eMedia for piano that we are going to introduce to Katie and Milos starting this month).

So what did we do yesterday? Backed a batch of heart shaped fudgy brownie cakes :)

What's in store for today? Something a little bit tricky but will definitely try to show to Katie and Milos even if it might seem difficult for them. Origami hearts from origami fun anyone?

Speaking of hearts, I am definitely going to take part in the Heart Project from Hands on as We Grow and the American Heart Association. Two of my personal goals for this year is to cultivate a grateful and generous spirit, and hopefully something that the kids and my hubby will also take a personal interest in.