365 Days of Motherhood

Going gaga over Pinterest

2012-01-21T08:29:00.000+01:00

I am getting hooked on Pinterest!. Such a wealth of ideas to explore and what's even more fascinating is you can instantly classify them to different boards. I am such a huge fan of vision boards so for me Pinterest is all about creating different vision boards according to specific categories. Well my pins are still in the process of getting categorized further and sifted through. But for now I just enjoy the process of finding gems from the materials that I find that are pinned by others.

One gem in particularly that I find very helpful in teaching art to children is Mrs. Dion's student website . Again I am just so happy and thrilled to be stumbling upon such vast information that I can share with my children. We even started the lesson on lines last night. Got the kids talking about horizontal vertical and diagonal lines. But the book that I bought them Little Green by Keith Baker really got them hooked on making loop-de-loops. I'm thankful for Art Projects for Kids for the Kinder Line Art Project that inspired me to buy that book for the children. You know if you got your money's worth on books when your kids start making drawings with different lines and tells you what they are :)

Museum trip 1: Spoorwegmuseum Utrecht

2012-01-16T11:41:00.000+01:00

Before the end of the year the children together with another friend, Keith went to the Spoorwegmuseum in Utrecht. They had the Winter Station theme going on and boy was it full. The children were in awe of the big trains whereas me and Boris were astonished with the number of people. Still the children got to enjoy themselves looking at the old trains, exploring the insides and even got their face painted. Overall, it wasa pleasant trip but it just means that we need to come back again to really see the rest of the museum.

Each day is a day to celebrate

2012-01-10T11:31:00.003+01:00

“We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.”
― Thornton Wilder

I got two warming phone calls from my close friends today--- both with different sharings, both insightful and both left me feeling happy and grateful. There is really so much wealth of goodness around me (us all) that it is just fitting to say that each day is a day to celebrate. This goes together with today's daily reading from the book Simple Abundance on "Until It is Carved in Stone". It talks about appreciating the ordinary and basking on how much we have in our lives unlike the way Emily, the heroine from Thornton Wilder's play "Our Town" realized her loss and longing for her life only after she died. Such irony indeed.

That is why I am glad of what this day has given and what it brings. Two phone calls from special friends- tears of happiness in one conversation and hopefullness in the other. Can't wait for the rest of my day to unfold.

To top it off I read one very interesting piece on The Importance of Celebrations. Thank you Nicole for the boost. It was written two years ago but the words resonates well with my soul.

MAMA

2012-01-03T23:12:00.008+01:00

Concoction tuesday didn't turn out to be the frizzy vinegar and baking soda that I had planned for today. The kids spent most of their morning playing with the neighbors. But it did end to be an interesting night with the three (Boris, Katie and Milos)making something very special for me.

Here's what my husband and kids concocted for Concoction Tuesday. I love it!!!

Thanks to Bloggerstop.net for giving me tips on How to Add MP3 songs to your blogspot blog. Really was helpful for a non-techie blogger like me :)

Concoction Tuesdays

2012-01-03T00:09:00.000+01:00

New Year, new start to the daily activities that I want to expose the children to. So to make it easier to plan for the activities I have decided to make it Concoction Tuesdays. Katie's schedule on tuesdays is cramped with her long day schedule and her ballet lessons in the afternoon so it means whatever I want to introduce to the children needs to be something simple, educative and fun.

What's in store for the kids tomorrow? A little experiment with baking soda and vinegar. This fizzy idea came from Sensory play with baking soda and vinegar from Mamasmiles.

Will definitely post the photos for our first concoction tuesday activity.

2012: A Year to Many Firsts

2012-01-01T23:45:00.000+01:00

This year we spent the coming of the new year together with our close friends, got some cleaning done and had a chance to attend mass (something I have not done since coming here in the Netherlands)... so considering all those things I found it apt to title this blog as a Year to Many Firsts.

Just what am I looking forward to in the next coming days?

Two major family outings that are up and coming: The Paul Klee exhibit at the Cobra Museum . A first for our little ones since this will be their first formal musuem experience. We still haven't planned exactly when we will be going but keeping my fingers crossed that we get to see it before our short family get away. Yes, we are finally going away as a family for a couple of days which does not involve going to see relatives or friends. Our short family trip is still hush-hush but will definitely post pictures.

TInkering for the Little Princess

2011-12-21T09:21:00.000+01:00

I have been greatly inspired by the do-it-yourself projects that I read online. Since I am not into woodworking or knitting, I tried to make something with my tinkering hands that involved pasting (stapling by hubby) and a whole lot of love in making this simple project:

Finally got to make a hairband organizer for Katie and a holder for her trinkets. Plus with the old floor board of their play pen, I transformed it into a learning board for their number chart. I must say, job well done for mommy!

Something to remind me of my place...

2011-12-19T23:37:00.000+01:00

I know the past few days have been a flurry of activities not just for my family but for most families in the world. Christmas season is always the busiest time of the year. However busy though the world can be, I revel in the daily inspirations that special women have written over their lives. Blogging is not just something to make use of my time but it has become one big inspiration board and I am so glad I finally have that time to take in what life has to offer...

Speaking of inspirations, here's what made me ramble on today: Stephanie old post on "I wasn't trained to be a mom (But I can still love it) from Keeper of the Day blog.

Thanks Stephanie for making me rejoice in my role.

Do-it-yourself project for our little Princess

2011-12-13T12:31:00.001+01:00

I saw this project in one of the do-it-yourself books (hopefully I can find it again so I can post which one it is) and thought it would be a good organizer for Katie's hairclips. So a few minutes after here's what I made out of an old sweater, old picture frame, small clothespins, scrapbooking letters and ribbons...

Speaking of do-it-yourself projects, here's one very inspiring website from Under the Table and Dreaming. Please do check Stephanie Lynn's website. Surely something for the tinkering-inclined mommies :)

My Reflections on the Making Thinking Visible Course

2011-12-08T13:13:00.000+01:00

The past two months I have been busy with the online course Making Thinking Visible from Wideworld Harvard. For educators and parents I would recommend this course to see how our parenting and teaching collide in creating a thinking culture for our children. This encouraged me to share two of my course reflections as I feel parents and educators can also get some sense out of my ramblings. Please read the page MY RAMBLINGS to read both reflections. Let me know what you think!

Introducing Shapes and Patterns using Klimt and Klee (part 1)

2011-12-04T13:15:00.000+01:00

We've recently been reviewing shapes, colors and lines as part of the children's art activities at home. This made me pretty enthusiastic since it means I get to introduce my favorite artist: Gustav Klimt! For those who want to know more about Klimt the multimedia presentation found at iklimt is an interesting starting point. But just a word of caution, it is not for the sensitive eyes since his works can be a bit too erotic.

However for children, Klimt's works can be a good way to introduce the use of shapes, patterns and lines in art. This can be seen in his works The Kiss or The Tree of Life.

For this activity, I used the thinking routine Colors, Shapes and Lines to look at Gustav Klimt's The Kiss.

One of the key features of Klimt's work aside from the shapes and patterns is his use of gold in his art works. Since the kids didn't pick up on it in their responses on the colors, shapes and lines, I know that this is something that we can do for the next projects. Patterns also seem to be something that they didn't identify with the artwork presented. But overall it was good since they are now beginning to also recognize different types of lines.

When I showed them The Tree of Life, I used the Looking 10x2 thinking routine but was refitted to their age group so it became Looking 5x2. It was fascinating to listen to Katie's very specific observations of the owl.

How about you what can you see in this artwork?

Too bad that wasn't the full artwork on The Tree of Life. It was nevertheless interesting to show to the children. The session wouldn't be complete without the children doing their own artworks. Using the masterpiece coloring page from Art Projects for Kids on The Tree of Life (definitely worth the 5 dollars, and do check out the drawing pages as well!), I printed it out on tracing paper for the sgraffito activity that I wanted to introduce to the children. Sgraffito is what we commonly know as scratch art technique. For this activity we used oil pastels instead of paint which is common for sgraffito artworks.

We started well on doing the coloring using pastels. However Milos felt he didn't want to ruin his work with the black pastel on top. The little one is at the stage where he doesn't want his works touched or influenced in any other way. So for now it's just him watching what Katie was doing. Here are some photos of the little artist in action...

Warming up for drawing activities

2011-12-01T10:58:00.000+01:00

I was very happy to stumble upon the site of Kathy Barbro Art Projects for Kids. Not only do they have interesting projects but the mural activities are something that is interesting to do with the children. If only they are also scaled a bit smaller for younger ones (mini mural options are not as varied as the bigger ones). But what I love the most and which I purchased for the children are the Drawing Practice sheets. I definitely can't wait to see Katie and Milos breezing through these practice sheets to develop their critical thinking and visual discrimination skills. Just that I need to make them into strips so it will not be too overwhelming for my little ones. It was so interesting that even my husband was enthusiastic to also check the sheets out for himself! Maybe I should also sit down with them when doing this :)

Sample of drawing sheet from Art Projects for Kids.

I spy with my little eyes...

2011-11-25T21:48:00.002+01:00

I have been wanting to make an i-spy bottle for the children but kept dilly-dallying about it. I finally got the inspiration when I read Counting Coconuts' post on I spy bottles. Finally got ours made together with the kids. They had fun filling in the bottle with the decorative salt and putting the small items in. Even Danni, Katie's best friend (whose hand is pictured), waited eagerly for his turn.

Would definitely be making the I spy letters bottle or maybe a winter-themed one? Oh well this is something not only for visual discrimination but also something that can be added to the winter theme activities that I am now starting to introduce to the children.

Thanks Mari-Ann for the extra boost and inspiration!

Loving it!

2011-11-23T09:56:00.000+01:00

I know, I know, I skipped some days to post my daily source of inspiration. Well finally here is one! I really like the fact that the internet is a wonderful tool to get lovely ideas from. This post on Outside prepared environment from Discovery Days and Montessori Moments really made my day!

Isn't this outdoor work station such a beauty?

I would really be on a lookout now for a second hand cabinet to put out on our balcony. Even with our tiny balcony, something like this would be a place that the children will look forward to being in. Thanks Stephanie for such an inspiring outside learning area.

Exactly what we ( my husband and I) were thinking of!

2011-11-17T11:24:00.000+01:00

Here I was reading through some blogs and I happen to come across this wonderful blog about little kitchen cupboard from Little Red Farm. This is definitely going to be in our to-do list at home since we were already thinking of moving the cereal containers within the children's reach. Now if only I can easily find such small pitchers...

Here is the picture of the little kitchen cupboard. We'll be posting ours hopefully soon!

Definitely something valuable to teach independence to young children. Thanks Rachael for this brilliant idea.

Jenga madness hits the house

2011-11-16T12:44:00.001+01:00

Still in awe how our 3 and 4 year olds can take on such "older kids" interests. Here is what I mean...

Warhol inspired t-shirts

2011-11-16T12:38:00.000+01:00

Who says that learning about art is boring? Kids had a blast experimenting with me on the laptop to change their photos ala Warhol. The result?

Using paint.net to change the color of the photos, the children chose which result they like best. Printed the photos in t-shirt transferable paper and just ironed it on a plain white t-shirt that I bought from zeeman.

The most rewarding part of the 15 minute activity, Katie saying that she'll wear it for her birthday party for everyone to see! :) ahhh warms my heart and makes me say, we'll definitely do more!!!

Sinterklaas theme binder

2011-11-15T21:41:00.000+01:00

I have been contemplating on making a lapbook for the children. But since I cannot find any folders in the stores I decided to make theme binders instead. I printed out some Sinterklaas activities (and made some) for Milos' peuterspeelzaal. So what I only had to do was make another copy, laminate and put them in clear file binders. I'll be posting each activity in the next few days but for now a taste of what Katie got busy with as part of the Sinterklaas activities: Sinterklaas dominoes and memory game.

Zen garden tray

2011-11-15T01:12:00.001+01:00

I have been wanting to make a zen garden (Japanese Zen gardens, also known as "karesansui") tray for the children after the big success of the mouldable sand. So when we were at Ikea, I got some dofta potpourri to give a scent to the garden and looked for sand but I didn't find it. An alternative that I thought of was the decorative sand that I saw from Blokker. I also got the flat marbles that were in the same area as the decorative sand. Here is what our zen garden tray looks like...

I still need to find a small rake though, but for now the pretend play fork will do.

My mistake was introducing this to Milos when he obviously is not over yet with his moldable sand. Well this is waiting for him when he wants another type of material to manipulate with.

For those of you who are curious as to why I made this activity for the children, zen gardens have for centuries been used as means for spiritual contemplation. This does not only allow for artistic expression (rake designs and rock formations) in young children, but most importantly, it provides a quiet interlude and opportunity to calm the mind.

Still at it

2011-11-15T00:53:00.000+01:00

Just want to share photos of

Milos going at it with the sand dough :) I added a different touch though with a roller that I bought from an art store.

Painting A la Andy Warhol

2011-11-10T17:52:00.000+01:00

I finally got the documentation of the Portrait a la Andy Warhol activity that I did with the children. I still need to further expose them to Pop Art but the initial activity was encouraging enough...

Thanks to Art Smarts for kids for this activity. Can't wait to do the other Warhol activity (blotted line drawing) for them to really get a better grasp of how Andy Warhol did his art works. But for tomorrow, this interactive Warhol game will be their homeschool activity.

Mouldable sand (cloud dough)

2011-11-10T08:27:00.003+01:00

When I read about the mouldable sand at The Imagination tree site, I just knew I had to try it with the children.

Armed with 2 trays, a measuring cup, 2 forks, a bagful of shells and alphabet cookie cutters we went out exploring what they have been blogging about as sensationally glorious substance. The best part of it is you only need two ingredients: 5 cups flour and 1 cup baby oil and violaa! It was really so nice to the touch! Best of all, Milos was totally into it... for 3 hours! :D

Milos' hand prints

Katie trying the alphabet cutters.

Her beautiful seascape.

With this activity a big success with Milos, it made me think if making a zen table for them will do wonders,there's only one way to find out :)

Good thing there's plenty of zen table ideas to read at Let The Children Play.

Autumn Work table part 2

2011-11-09T16:21:00.000+01:00

I think I finally caught the bug that the children have for the past few weeks. Itchy throat and all, I still would like to finish the post about the children's work table.

The autumn words that Katie cut and pasted in her notebook were taken from the Autumn preschool packs of 1+1+1=1. The magnetic strip I saw at Xenos and thought of printing the phonemes from Mama Jenn's blogsite to encourage Katie and Milos to copy the autumn words. I used the magnetic photo paper from Hema to print the tiles (tiles were rescaled to fit the 4x6 inch magnetic photo paper).

Working on the early reading computer program (I forgot the exact name, I'll blog about it next time), I decided to make -at word wheels for Katie. This I got from Superteacher worksheets. You can find other word wheels there.

I think I got the materials on the children's work table fully explained. I'll definitely be posting some of the other projects that I am working on for the children (theme binders) and also their Andy Warhol activity! But for now, rest time and hopefully this bug go away quickly.

Autumn work table

2011-11-07T14:30:00.001+01:00

I did say that I will be explaining what is on the children's work table so here is the first part. For the month of October we focused on Autumn as our theme. The children loved picking up dried leaves and placed them in their season tray (in this case it was a steel bin that a friend of mine gave). To introduce one-to-one correspondence I decided to convert two of my Hors d'oeuvre trays- one I used to place the cut-outs (shadow leaves, small cut-outs of leaves and small paperclips). The other I used as the sorting tray. I used foam number stickers for each container and recycled the expired coffee beans of my husband for their one-to-one correspondence activity. For Katie the learning goal is of course more complicated with the extension activity as counting and then adding two containers.

Here are some pictures of Katie doing the extension activity:
Not a good photo though of her doing the one-on-one counting task :/

In the addition part, I helped her do the first few equations the last one she tried on her own :)

I wouldn't want to finish this blog without mentioning the shadow leaf board and count and clip activity that you can see from the picture of their work table. These activities along with a lot of exciting work sheets on autumn was taken from 2 Teaching Mommies. Be sure to check out their collection of Fun Seasonal Themes!

Each day, a site of inspiration

2011-11-06T19:55:00.000+01:00

Although I am a few days late, I have decided to start sharing blogs that other mothers/educators like me can gather inspiration from. I would like to start it by sharing this wonderful site from Mozi. Her Motion, Matter, Mitosis and Me curriculum is something to really try with the children. I just need to make a timetable of when to do all these cool activities with the little ones!

Another month, another challenge

2011-11-03T11:11:00.000+01:00

The past few days have been busy attending to the children, putting together a workplace for them and juggling between studies and commitments with friends. But overall seeing how enthusiastic the children are with their activities and projects make life being at home well worth it. Here's a snapshot of their corner in the living room.

A stockful of inspiration

2011-10-27T14:36:00.000+02:00

Now that I am back to blogging, I am also back to one of my passions: READING. Put blogs and reading together and what do you get??? A stockful of inspiration!

What got my blood racing today was going through the lovely art projects that Karen from Little Acorns have been doing with her class.

Definitely a must read! I need to make a planner on when to do a rendition of her Monet's water lilies for Katie and Milos to do :)

Getting to Know the World's Greatest Artists

2011-10-27T13:20:00.000+02:00

Like their father and me, Katie and Milos have a penchant for books. If we are too tired to read them a story book before bedtime, both of them are accustomed to pick a book and read for themselves. I sometimes even ask Katie to read a book for me. I just can't wait until she can finally read on her own. Now that she is beginning to read cvc (consonant-vowel-consonant) words, she gets enthusiastic when she can read the word without my prodding. What more when she can read sentences! A great big world will definitely open up for her! This would also be good for Milos since he looks after his sister. once he sees Katie reading on her own, that would surely spark him to also start mouthing out the sounds. Well I'm already impressed that for a 3 year old he can write his name without any copy so surely reading will be quick for him too.

Anyway, while going through some activities that I would like to introduce to the children, I stumbled upon a set of books all dedicated to introducing artists and their art works to children. Boris and I both salivated when we saw the collection at our favorite online bookstore. Book depository has a wide collection of books and the best part, they are cheap and free delivery! Here's the picasso book that was part of the set:

Can't wait to get my hands on all 20 of them! and maybe after reading the books to the kids next time when we are by Ikea they will be able to recognize some of Picasso's work in the Olunda frame.

I'll definitely post pictures once the books arrive. But for now, patience Lana, patience.

Pointillism

2011-10-25T17:34:00.000+02:00

This time we tried another way of making art. Using the "What Makes You say that" thinking routine, I first asked the children what is going on in the sample what do they know and what do they see that makes you say that?

Too bad the audio recording I did was a bit too big a file. I'll see how I can attach it here. But for now here is the output of the activitiy.

Autumn Break Happenings

2011-10-23T14:02:00.000+02:00

Here's a preiew of what the kids and I were doing during their autumn break...

Famous Poses See-think-wonder activity

2011-10-19T01:59:00.000+02:00

This is the first see-think-wonder activity that I did with the children.

After introducing the famous poses I asked them what they see, think and wonder about the photos. I recorded their replies and as an extension, I asked Katie and Milos to think of 3 different poses. I got my camera and started clicking! Now they understand the concept of "posing" better :)

Picasso Heart Faces by Katie

2011-10-19T01:21:00.000+02:00

I am getting so enthusiastic in practising the "Making Thinking Visible at Home" with Katie (and sometimes with Milos)and incorporating teaching art in the process. For today's activity, I was inspired by a lesson plan I read from incredibleart.org on Picasso faces. I decided to use the opportunity to make my assignment for the course and at the same time give Katie and Milos a bit of Picasso orientation. Milos was not so involved though so I ended up making it along with Katie.Here is the documentation of what transpired in our make-shift art wall

Who Inspires You?

2011-10-11T10:56:00.001+02:00

I was doing my assignment and one of the tasks is to view some videos online. After clicking one TED TALKS from Sir Ken Robinson after another I came across this one. Hope it gives you something to think about as well.

WHO INSPIRES YOU?

Self-Portrait Explanation Game

2011-10-07T21:33:00.000+02:00

I just started an online course on Making Thinking Visible from Wide World, an online program of Harvard Graduate School of Education. The things I am learning are just so interesting that I decided to document the thinking routines that I have learned and am practicing with Katie and Milos. Here is an explanation game that I did with Katie and Milos as an introduction to self-portraits. Really fascinating how I got to learn more on how and what Katie thinks...

Been Busy Learning New Things

2011-03-11T20:36:00.000+01:00

Here's what I have been busy with. Tinkering with both my mind and hands :)

Autobiographical Artifact

2011-02-23T05:59:00.000+01:00

This piece was made as a reflective assignment for the online training that I am currently taking...

“I did not wade in the water to test it, I jumped right in.” – Lana Jelenjev

It took me a few days to reflect on the activity on autobiographical artifact before fully embarking on the task of writing it down to words. I have been mulling about what my autobiographical artifact is/ are the minute I read it as part of the requirement of the orientation period. Although at the bat of the eyelash so to speak, I would be able to tell upright what my autobiographical artifacts are but thinking about it for the past few days made me realize that there is more to than just knowing what these artifacts are. Reflecting on the terms “autobiographical” meaning a book about a person written by that person himself/herself and “artifact” which is a byproduct/something made, gave me a moment of pause. What is it exactly that has shaped or made me as the person that I am and why do I think of it as such? That question cannot be answered without mentioning the persons who molded me into being. I can say I am who I am because of the empowered women who brought me up to this world. I would never have this passion for living, giving, caring and moving things in certain directions if I have not been raised by the two most passionate women I know- my mother and my grandmother.

My father was, in most of our childhood years an absentee father, working abroad for a great part of our childhood. He was someone we only knew with letters and packages sent from the post. For a great deal of my and my brother’s lives it was just my grandma and my mom who were our source of sustenance and support. Growing up as a child, I knew my mother as the hard working, career oriented woman that she was and I knew my grandmother to be the firm and stable hand that guided us. This I am reminded of literally as images of my grandma, my brother and me holding hands crossing a busy street in Manila (and jaywalking to boot!) comes to mind as I am writing this. But what was even more striking as I remember that event so many years ago was the firmness of her hold- yes that is what my grandmother is to me. As my mother worked to provide for us, my Nanay, as we call her (although the word means mother in Tagalog), has always been our steadfast hand. She held on to us and nurtured us in ways we thought as children to be too strict but now as adults I deem grateful for. She may have her outbursts and has given us our share of mild punishment for the mischief that my brother and I had gotten ourselves into as young children but her touch has always been the one that led our path straight. She taught me sacrifice, love, and determination especially after hearing her story of being widowed at a very young age with 4 small children and how she brought my mom and her siblings on her own with all of them getting a good education. I was at awe when I found out her life story. When I was old enough to process who my Nanay is in my life, I knew her to be my “Superwoman”. The strength of her character and her determination is unparallel. No matter what I do with my life, I know I can never match the sacrifices she made, the life that she lives and the amount of giving she showed to us and also to her immediate surroundings. She is and always will be “Super Nanay”.

My mother deserves a special mention too when thinking about people who molded me into being. Although I can say that our relationship as mother-daughter was not the ideal as how I would have wanted it to be, but I realized more on who she was and why she was like that only when I was already in college and took up psychology courses. My mother is the calm, quiet and introspective type. The memories I hold of her in bursts of excitement was the time she had her career going for her. I guess I got my passion for work from her. How I remembered her before she stopped working (when my father finally decided to stop working abroad and opted to find work in the Philippines) and the time she became a fulltime housewife were so different. Looking back, I think she missed that spark in her when she gave up her career. The spark that I saw when she first brought me and my brother in her workplace. Seeing all those computers at that time, my brother was in awe of the machines, while I was in awe of how she was with her colleagues. That was her element. She was in her turf.

The years that followed in between the time we moved to Angeles and the time of my parents’ separation I would think of as her dormant years. She seemed to others as settled but now as I look back, those were the years I think she was stifled. She had to stay at home and care for us, engaged in a-not-so-serious buy and sell business. She was still quiet but the serenity wasn’t there.
When my parents separated and we were faced with a big financial problem because of my father was the time I saw a different side to my mother. That was the first time I saw her cry and I was already in my teens at that time. Growing up, I felt that she was so distant that I even at one point (which I regretted the most) wrote a letter to her saying I thought of her as an Ice Queen. But to see her cry for the first time in my teenage life, I was faced with a mother who felt and showed her vulnerability. Ice Queens don’t cry but at that night my mother did. I couldn’t even know what she felt because she didn’t share her thoughts and feelings. She kept a lot to herself. But in the face of everything that happened what I saw in her from that point on was a woman determined – she tried however way she can for me and my brother to finish our education. We may not have our fancy house and lot, our car and all the fancy things we used to have before but we did get something far better. We gained our mother back. She may not have moved in the circles that she used to be with before when she was working but as she tried her best to financially provide for us she started going out of her shell. She met new people and through grit and determination she managed to pull our family through. She was my “Superwoman Number 2”.

My mother’s strength of character and determination was tested in the remaining years of her life. All those pent up emotions finally got the better of her as she was diagnosed with breast cancer. For years she battled it, going from one doctor to another. The countless hospital visits we’ve had. But those were also the years that drew me and my mother together. As sad as it might sound but those were our best years as mother and daughter. Those were the years when I can fully see who she was from a young woman’s eyes and not from a the eyes of a flighty teenager with an axe to grind. If only we could have such maturity as teenagers, then I probably would not have given her so much difficulty as a teenager when I insist on getting some things my way. Then I would have spared her from further hurt by throwing things back at her as why things are this or that. But there would always be that world of “if-only”. I am just glad that somehow I got to give back to my mother the care that she deserves. The time I spent taking care of her made me realize a lot about her and what I/we missed out from each other because of our personality differences. I am flighty, she was stable. I am vocal, she was quiet. I am outgoing, she was an introvert. But taking those differences aside and just seeing her in bed lying next to her at night and at the point when she was really in pain and singing her lullabyes for her to sleep, I knew I was not so different from her after all. We were both vulnerable, yet determined. We were both scared yet trying to keep our strengths and wits together. We were both in pain and we shared it each night that we were together.

I do miss my mom so much and the birth of our daughter made me long for her to be with us. But I know that her legacy will always be there. We might have gone through the mother-daughter relationship so differently from what I am doing now with Katie but I’m parenting in as much grit and determination as I have learned from her.

Together with my grandma, my mom taught me passion- to be brazen in life and to embrace it. This is why if I am asked what moves me? I would say I would like to be a pebble thrown in the pond. The kind that stirs and creates ripples. Life is too short and too fleeting that it is such a waste not to be doing your passions in life. My mother died when she was 49 years old. My grandma, who at age 81 is still feisty. She manages to cook, clean, and make my knees buckle when she growls. But both made the most out of their situations, when life throws you lemons, you make lemonade. This is what my mom and Nanay did and more since they shared their “lemonade” with the people around them. When asked the question “who would you want to be when you grow up?” Some people might say how they would want to be like this or that person, my answer to that? I would say if only I can have half of my mom’s and grandma’s strength of character and determination then I would be, in my eyes, that ideal person.

Now how about you, what is your autobiographical artifact? :)

Finally A New Post

2011-02-07T18:46:00.000+01:00

After months of blogging hiatus I finally sat down to just ramble a bit... A lot has happened during the past few months that I had to stop and find some time to manage things on top of everything that I have been doing. What has happened during the past few months? Just to name a few- new part time work, finishing my inburgeringscursus, applying for masteral classes for Leiden, traveling to Indonesia for eB,and a whole lot more!

Now that I have things somehow settled, its now time to chronicle another exciting year ahead of me and my family. But this time I'm going full blast and with rigor. With more resolve, I am now out to conquer my turf and slowly but surely rock the boat! :)

Part 3: All you need to know when pregnant in the land of windmills, bikes, dikes and tulips

2010-04-28T23:47:00.001+02:00

This is part three of my article on All you need to know when pregnant here in the Netherlands. I hope that the tips I shared can be of great assistance to those who are pregnant and an eye-opener for those planning on getting pregnant and giving birth here in the land of windmills, bikes, dikes and tulips.

I could say that after visiting a couple of Filipina friends who have given birth here in the Netherlands, I am now to some extent familiar to the Dutch birth traditions. Below are three most common practices that you need to know and prepare na de bevalling (after giving birth), the typical Dutch way. Too bad I didn’t know these when Milos was born.

GEBOORTEKAARTJES
Birth cards are sent to family and friends to announce the birth of the baby. Essential information like height and weight and the time of delivery are written in the card. Please take not that here in the Netherlands centimeters and grams are used in reference to height and weight in contrast with the use of inches and pounds. It is also written in the geboortekaart the parents’ contact numbers and the home address for making visitation appointments and yes you just cannot go to the house to visit the family unannounced.

BESCHUIT MET MUISJES
What to serve visitors when they come to visit the new baby? Particular to the Dutch new baby tradition is serving beschuit met muisjes(“biscuits with little mice”). The literal translation might be a shock to many but beschuits met muisjes are simply round, thick, toasted biscuits smeared with butter and sprinkled with sugar coated anise seeds. This tradition dates back to as early as the 17th century wherein birth during those times were medically dangerous and thus a new baby born is a cause of celebration by the community. The new mother received food and treats of various kinds from neighbors. In return the new parents would give those who visit their house biscuits with colored muisjes (sugar sprinkles). In those days it was pink for a girl and white for a baby boy. Nowadays blauwe en witte muisjes (blue and white) are used for boys and roze en witte muisjes (pink and white) can .

One might ask, why anise seeds? It was believed during those times that anise seeds can drive away evil spirits and is also good for the mother’s uterus to reduce to its original size. Where the name “muisjes” were taken from is still not clear but some say that it could be in reference to the belief that “mice” are a symbol of fertility.

Just another tidbit of history: The De Ruitjer, the well known company that makes muisjes, as part of their marketing and publicity created in 1938 the oranje muisjes (orange) and presented it to the Paleis Soestdijk for the birth of Princes Beatrix. It is now a tradition that oranje muisjes are served at the birth of a prince or princess. Even the “birth” of the new pope, Pope Benedict XVI, was treated with muisjes by the Roman Catholic Church in the Netherlands. On April 3, 2005, geele en witte muisjes (yellow and white) were made available as symbol for the papal colors.

DE OOIEVAAR (Stork)
One might also notice the stork (de ooievaar) hanging outside the new proud parents’ balcony or garden which signifies the arrival of the new baby. The stork as a symbol of birth is not a very long practice. It came to popularity after the birth of Princess Juliana in 1909. It is initially believed that the stork will bring the “ziel” (soul) to the baby so that he/she will be happy. It is also considered to be a symbol of luck (geluksbrenger).
To date, there are a variety of storks that can be rented or bought. Inflatable ones up to 3.5 meters height can be rented for a whooping 50 to 150 euros per week or you can opt to buy the 3D ones that are placed in the window. Nowadays there are also inflatable baby figures (oplaasbaby) in place of the stork that can be rented. Raamstickers (window stickers) with the name of the baby and cute caricatures are also in the frenzy among new parents who want to announce the arrival of their new baby.

All you need to know when pregnant in the land of windmills, bikes, dikes and tulips Part 2

2010-03-17T22:57:00.000+01:00

This is part two of my article on All you need to know when pregnant here in the Netherlands. I hope that the tips I shared can be of great assistance to those who are pregnant and an eye-opener for those planning on getting pregnant and giving birth here in the land of windmills, bikes, dikes and tulips.

4. If you can afford it, get a DOULA. The word “doula” originates from the ancient Greek and is referred to as the “woman who serves”- the most important female slave or servant in an ancient Greek household who in most probability helped the lady of the house through childbearing. From the book Mothering the Mother by Klaus, Kennel and Klaus, a doula is referred to as the “woman experienced in childbirth and who provides continuous physical, emotional and informational support to the mother before, during and just after childbirth”. The role of the doula is to have a safe, well-informed and empowering birthing experience.

In the Philippines the idea of having a doula is not so common. This is because of our extended family members and friends who are all willing to share their experiences and help before, during and after childbirth. But the practice of having a professionally trained companion to guide an expectant mother is on the rise, not just in Western countries but in Asian countries as well. This is because of the new perspective on trying to achieve a more positive and well-informed birth experience rather than just being at the mercy of doctors or midwives. Here in the Netherlands you can find a listing of doulas in your neighborhood through the dutch doula website.

Personally, had I known about a doula’s role before having given birth I would have opted to get one. When I gave birth in Indonesia it was just me and my husband doing the breathing and pushing techniques that we learned from attending one session of birthing class. Looking back, it would have been nice to have someone around that time to inform me of what is going on and how the birth is progressing. As for our youngest son’s birth here in the Netherlands, I was fortunate to have an encouraging midwife while we tried doing homebirth and later she was highly attentive to my needs when I had to deliver at the hospital instead. She handled my condition well and made decisions on time. But the connection was still lacking especially on the emotional part. Too bad my in-laws were out of the country for a vacation. My mother-in-law was looking forward to being there for the delivery. The second time around it was just me and Boris. I had to rely on my husband for support and I am so fortunate to have a man who does not flinch at the sight of blood nor was he panicky and unfocused. But the need to have someone to professionally rely on was there even more because I had a retained placenta. Boris and I didn’t have a clue on what is going on and the consequences of having such a condition. It was only after giving birth and reading about it did I know how life threatening it can be. During the time I was in the hospital we just went through the flow of things. No wonder the doctor was a bit surprised by my insistence to go home on the same day! Had I known about what my body went through I would have been gentler on myself and paced myself more. Had I been with a doula, she would have informed me of what I needed to do. I guess what was written on Doulas Making a Difference is true “My husband (partner) is my left hand and my doula is my right.”
With what I have learned and gotten to understand about doulas after my birth experiences it has inspired me to be a doula myself. Hopefully in a few months time I can finish my Becoming a Doula and Childbirth Educator certifications from Childbirth International.

5. Do the Math.
Having a baby is financially straining. Although the insurance covers the expenses of homebirths or hospital births but the minute the baby is born there are a lot of expenses that will be incurred. Questions like, how long will I breastfeed or shall I give formula instead? Disposable diapers or cloth diapers? Home-made food or bottled ones? ---these are questions with financial consequences. A comparison of the prices of diapers for 4-9 kilos revealed the following prices for 1 diaper:

Brand Price per diaper
AH huismerk, Midi 4-9 KG € 0,171
Aldi broekies, Midi 4-9 KG € 0,128
Schlecker Babyfun, Mini 4-10 KG € 0,160
Bibou, Ultra dry Midi 4-9 KG € 0,212
Bumblies, Midi 4-9 KG € 0,136
C1000 Select, Midi 4-9 KG € 0,156
Lidl huismerk (Cien), Midi 4-9 KG € 0,130
DA huismerk, Mini 4-9 KG € 0,190
Dotties, Midi 4-10 KG € 0,116
Edah huismerk, Midi 4-9 KG € 0,170
Etos Mijn baby, Midi 4-10 KG € 0,143
Europrofit, Midi 4-9 KG € 0,132
Fitti, Midi 4-9 KG € 0,231
Fixies, Junior 15-25 KG € 0,227
Friends, Midi 4-10 KG € 0,146
Huggies, Midi 5-9 KG € 0,200
Kruidvat huismerk, Midi 4-9 KG € 0,153
Libero Up & Go, Maxi 8-11 KG € 0,307
Moltex Oko, Midi 4-9 KG € 0,222
Pampers, Midi 4-9 KG € 0,156
Peaudouce, Midi 4-9 KG € 0,170
STIP, Midi 4-9 KG € 0,190
Super, Midi 5-10 KG € 0,170
Trekpleister huismerk, Midi 4-9 KG € 0,151

(Taken from: http://www.scholieren.com/werkstukken/28133)
Taking the cheapest one which is the Dotties and multiplying it to five changing in a day (.58) then multiplied by 365 days in a year will yield: 211,70 euros! That is if you only change 5 times in a day. Expect more for smaller babies and this is also depending on the absorbency of the diaper. Now I wouldn’t want to try for the formula! Breastfeeding is still the best choice not just physically but financially as well.

What can be done to augment the expenses?
One has to know the government support that having a child entitles you to. For one there is the Kinderbijslag which is the child benefit given by the government on a quarterly basis towards the expenses of raising a child. For more information on how the Kinderbijslag is given and how much to expect per child just go to the Sociale Verzekeringsbank(SVB) website. The site also has an English translation.

Kindergebonden budget(child budget) is another benefit from the government that is given monthly but depends on the income and number of children in the family. To find more information on this one has to read through the Toeslagen website. Unfortunately the site is only offered in dutch and medewerkers (employees) from the Dutch Tax Administration (Belastingdienst) only use Nederlands as medium of communication.

--- to be continued----

Keeping Sane With the Holland Weather

2010-02-10T22:34:00.007+01:00

Yesterday the kids and I had fun walking around in the mall. It's one of those days where you take advantage of the sunshine and go out even though it was a very windy day. Albeit cold, the kids and I enjoyed our few hours under the sun. We all came home red-cheeked and their little hands so cold (the kids just couldn't keep their mittens on). The weather was so good that Katie was happy to see the grass by the soccer field. She even remarked that the ground was not "glad", no she didn't mean it as glad as happy, but "glad" as the dutch word for smooth or slippery.

This morning we woke up to roads and fields all decked in snow. The wind blowing incessantly and the branches swaying madly! So much for sunshine! Katie was still impressed with the snow though. She would go by the windowsill and watch the snow falling. But that's just that, watching. I dare not go out with them. They have just recovered from their bouts of coughs and colds that I just preferred to let them stay in the house where its snug and warm.

But its this type of weather that bugs me the most. One minute everything seems to be going so well that you're finally able to come out and then BAM! Next thing you know you're holed up again. It's not that we cannot go out because of too much snow like in other places where it's few inches of snowfall (and thank God we don't have that and I feel bad for those who are experiencing the snow storms in the US) But it's just something I would refrain from doing especially not with the kids in tow.

An expat teacher once told me this while I was working in Indonesia and upon hearing that I would be moving here "you better be prepared with the weather in Holland, it can be so treacherous". Looking at the window and seeing the dainty snow flakes falling down oh so slowly, I would say I definitely agree!

"Winter season, where I live,
seems oh so very long.
Spring, summer and autumn come
but in a wink they're gone.
One day the daffodils are gold,
then comes the summer rose,
gem colored leaves that fall to quick,
then comes the winter snows
and the world is gowned in white,
Ice crystals bobble every bough.
If it's not the wind howling,
it's the grumbling of the plow
growling as it pushes snow
to the sides of every street;
next you know comes freezing rain
and hail and icy sleet.
Cars chug and bump and slip and slid
along the village streets
and all the sidewalks glare with ice
are slippery under feet;
then one day the sky turns blue,
Earth shimmers in dazzling glow
til evening comes and clouds roll in
and again it snows and snows."...

---excepts taken from the poem Seasonal Thoughts by Annette Bromley

Making Traditions for Christmas

2010-01-20T00:46:00.006+01:00

I wrote an article about the Christmas party for the kids that we organized. You can read it here http://www.mnnetherlands.com/categories/articles/223/223_makingtraditionsforchrist.php

It was indeed a wonderful experience, something I know our family will look forward to each year!

P.S. Sorry Ness and Jos, your comment got misplaced!

Pregnant in the Land of Windmills, Bikes, Dikes and Tulips

2010-01-18T06:31:00.020+01:00

In just a few months time two good friends of mine are going to be first time mommies. But before they get to that, they are now going through the marvel and struggles of pregnancy. Being pregnant is a wonderful yet daunting experience more so if you are having it in another country with a different language and your support system of women in your family more than a thousand miles away from you.

What do I deem as essential in being pregnant here in the Netherlands?

1. Know the basic terms and procedures.

Maternity and health care in general is different here in the Netherlands. Before you can go to a specialist like an Obstetrician (OB)/Gynecologist (GYN) there is the process of acquiring a verwijsbrief (referral letter) from your huisarts (house doctor-general practitioner). It is only when medical intervention is necessary that you even meet with an OB/Gyn. The main person you have appointments with is a verloskundige (midwife).

Pregnant or not one has to be well informed of the various health care system. ACCESS, a non-profit organization servicing the expat community in the Netherlands have published information booklets on various aspects of living in the Netherlands. One such material is the health care information booklet that was updated last August 2009. You can print a copy of it here:

http://www.access-nl.org/our_services/pdf/booklets/health_care.pdf

As for other ACCESS booklets you can check out their website http://www.access-nl.org

Pregnant and don't know where the nearest midwife is in your area? The website http://www.knov.nl/ provides not only substantial information over the role of a midwife but also offers a search engine for midwives in your area. Just type in your address in their midwife locator http://www.knov.nl/midwife-locator/ and you will find a listing of midwives within your specified radius.

It is also important that you arm yourselves with important dutch terms related to pregnancy and labor. Although in most cases you will find an English speaking midwife but it is still important that you familiarize yourself with terms that you will be hearing for the next nine months.

From the article Maternity Matters What to Expect in the Netherlands http://www.expatica.com/nl/health_fitness/healthcare/Maternity-matters-_-What-to-expect-in-the-Netherlands_11936.html by Amanda van Mulligen, she shared her A-Z of pregnancy and birthing terms in dutch. Listed below is her list:

A-Z of pregnancy and birthing in Dutch
Bedverhogers – bed raisers (available from a Thuiszorgwinkel to hire and a health and safety requirement for a home birth and post natal care)
Bevalling – labour, giving birth
Bloedonderzoek – blood test
Borstvoeding – breastfeeding
Breken van de vliezen – waters breaking
Hydrofiel luiers – muslins
Kraampakket – items sent by medical insurer to prepare for a home birth and post natal care
Kraamverzorgster – maternity care assistant
Kraamzorg – maternity care
Kruiken – hot water bottles (metal)
Navelklem – umbilical cord clamp
Poliklinische bevalling – hospital birth
Thuisbevalling – home birth
Thuiszorgwinkel – a national network of shops selling and hiring items for the pregnancy, birth and post natal care
Uitgerekende datum – due date
Verloskundige – midwife
Vruchtwater – embryonic fluid
Weeën – contractions
Zwangerschap – pregnancy
Zwangerschapscursus – prenatal course
Zwangerschapsyoga – Prenatal yoga

2. Prepare yourself mentally by reading on what is in store for you for the next 9 months. Internet is such a help in this matter. There are a lot of good sources around to know what is going on with your body for each week or each month. Sign up for week by week updates from sites like:

http://www.babycenter.com/

http://www.ivillage.com/

http://www.parents.com/pregnancy/

http://www.americanpregnancy.org/

http://kidshealth.org/parent/pregnancy_calendar/pregnancy_calendar_intro.html

http://www.whattoexpect.com/pregnancy/week-by-week/landing.aspx

3. Make a list of questions you would like to ask the midwife. Prepare a list of things you would like to know or things you would like to share.Try not to feel shy about sharing your feelings or whatever you are experiencing. Being pregnant is not a trivial state. All those little aches and pains amount to something far greater- a growing baby in your belly.Your body has to accommodate that little bundle of joy and that is not a simple feat. I'll let you in a realization of mine after giving birth to Katie...it finally dawned on me why being constipated was necessary. Weet jij waarom? (you know why?) because it helps you to know how to push during labor! Isn't that such a grand design? :)

A birth plan is also important. By understanding that pregnancy is a normal process and in most cases does not need too much medical intervention, you would be able to gauge whether you are confident enough to want a home birth or hospital birth. Home births here in the Netherlands is a common practice. Making a decision to do home birth or hospital birth is important because certain preparations are needed. For example, those opting for home births will receive a kraampakket from your zorgverzekeraar (health insurer) that contains all the necessary materials for home birth and after care and with those planning for hospital births it is necessary to enlist yourself in the hospital months before your due date. There are also information sessions (on pregnancy and labor) provided by the hospitals particularly for those who have enlisted. Creating your birth plan means talking with your partner and midwife about the details on how you would like the labor process to be. Pregnancy and labor are such empowering experiences that it would be nice to have a better idea of how we would like it to be handled.

For both our kids I didn't make an elaborate birth plan but I did specify to the OB/Gyn who gave birth to Katie and the midwife who assisted me with Milos that it would be Boris who will cut the umbilical cord. There were also certain details that I wanted like having no epidurals not unless I really cannot bear the pain and opting for a home birth with Milos (which unfortunately didn't happen but this is for another story http://www.mnnetherlands.com/directory/jelenjevfloreslanakristine/101/101_givingbirthinthenetherlan.php).

I am also a proponent for positive labor and not fighting the contractions. In both labors I didn't scream, kick or curse as much as you see in tv. The only times I can be heard were during the coached breathing with my partner and during the pushing. I believe that bringing out a baby is a marvelous occasion that should not be marred by throwing expletives or words of regret for what is going on. For other tips on positive labor a nice reading material is http://www.pregnancytoday.com/gallery/10-steps-toward-a-positive-labor-19/10-steps-toward-a-positive-labor-1/
.
For those wanting to make their own birth plans, you can check out Baby center's birth planner http://www.babycenter.com/100_create-your-own-birth-plan_5235284.bc or from the American pregnancy association http://www.americanpregnancy.org/labornbirth/birthplan.htm. Like what it says there, it might not fit in everything with what you can have but it's worth knowing what the options are from your service provider.

--- to be continued----

Their Time is NOW

2010-01-08T21:17:00.005+01:00

A good friend of mine dropped by the house today, a visit I surely appreciate since she went out of her way to come at such a cold and dreary weather. Naturally, being mothers to young kids, we started talking about our family lives and the challenges that we face on a daily basis. We shared about the joys of motherhood and the pains we deal with when children are sick or distressed. We also talked about our varying roles to our spouses (which I won't mention since my husband would be reading this blog :)) and we also talked about the struggle to be financially stable given that we are both single-income families. In great lengths we talked about the hesitation in going back to the workforce and having less time with our kids. She also shared her unconscious defiance over her dutch language studies because it was time she could have spent with Keith and I shared my ambivalence over applying for a preschool teaching position in an international school nearby. Not because I might not be qualified but just the thought of teaching young children while Katie and Milos are in a daycare being attended to by someone else makes me feel guilty. I had to agree with what Clarisse said "it is quite unfair that a child's strong competition is that of financial stability". But what to do? How to decide? and where should the compromise be?

Those questions were still fresh from my mind when Boris came home from work. We had our usual laid-back Fridays -not hurrying with the meals since there are no evening classes for me, and Boris busily attending to them while I get some breather. I just so love him dearly for being able to step up a notch and be in-charge of the kids when I am feeling under the weather even though he also had his full day at work. Anyway, after dinner the kids got preoccupied with writing and yes even Milos at age 15 months like scribbling very much! Our walls and sofa covers are testimony to that. There was a point I left the living room and came back only to find the three of them on the sofa. I know I should have taken a picture but the memory is fresh in my mind. Katie was on the left, Milos on the middle and both of them huddled together like they were secretly drawing a plan on how to build a space shuttle to Pluto or something else so serious. With snot coming out of his nose, babbling and all, Milos was busy writing over what Katie was writing and Ate Katie, being the "ate" (tagalog name for older sister) that she is seemed not to mind the intrusion. It was one of the rare times they were both enjoying something without pushing or tugging at each other. Boris on the other hand was just to the side of Milos making sure he wouldn't fall. Such a sight it was! At one point Katie was even chanting "we are a team!". Funny how her almost 3 year old mind can come up with lines like those... and in that moment, when I saw the two together, my eyes went teary and my mind was cleared.

The first chance I got, I shared with Boris what Clarisse and I talked about. I then told him what I realized when I saw the two busily writing together. We might not have money to spare for grand vacations, heck we don't even have money to spare for dining out in restaurants or to frequent movie houses. But we do have enough to provide for our daily needs, a roof over our heads, good food on the table, necessities for the kids, and most important of all, I have the time with the kids. Seeing Katie and Milos like that and being hit with the realization that they grow up so fast, I realized that another year can wait. That I wouldn't want to miss these times with them specially the mornings when I slowly wake up to hear Milos chanting Katie's name, Katie walking up and doing our good morning hug-squeeze-stretch ritual and then singing good morning songs in bed (This is to keep them bubbly and less whiny. I like teaching them not to be grumpy in the morning). These and a lot of other things that we do together throughout the day make it all worth it.

Before writing this entry, my mind raced to a quote I have read more than a dozen times over as a child and as an adult. This quote was placed in a glass frame with photos of my brother and me when we were very young. As a child I have always taken that quote for granted and as an adult I found it hypocritical because I knew it was my father who put that frame together or so I thought it was him. About my father and me that is an entirely different and complicated story... anyway, now as a parent myself, those lines have a deeper meaning. Remembering Gabriel Mistral's quote I knew I made the right choice.

"We are guilty of many errors and many faults but our worst crime is abandoning the children, neglecting the fountain of life.Many things we need can wait. The child cannot. Right now is the time his bones are being formed, his blood is being made and his senses being developed. To him we cannot answer "Tomorrow", his name is "Today"."

Inburgeringscursus (Integration Course)

2010-01-06T00:37:00.004+01:00

A friend of mine asked me yesterday while we were chatting, "are you enthusiastic about going to school?". I answered with the rhetorical question "what do you think?". It's not that I don't like learning dutch. I actually find it an achievement that I can remember what aansprakelijkheidsverzekering is (I just need to memorize how to spell it!) or what arbeidsovereenkomst means. I don't even know what aansprakelijkheidsverzekering means in English. It's more like a personal insurance where if one breaks something accidentally like an expensive vase from the neighbor or accidentally spilled wine on an expensive carpet then the insurance will shoulder most of the expenses incurred. As for arbeidsovereenkomst that is simply a work contract. Such unfamiliar name for something we know so well in English huh?

Anyway going back to my enthusiasm in going to school. I find it "vervelend" (annoying) that our school cannot meet my demands in learning more about the dutch grammar. Quoting what our docent said, "the integration course is not a language course". But for me everything falls in that gaping hole called "Learning the Language". I guess I'm still miffed that our gemeente (municipality) do not provide for staatsexamen traject that easily like in other gemeentes. If only I knew that my speaking or shall I say lack of speaking Nederlands during my assessment will get in the way of me having the chance to go for full grammar lessons (which is what they offer in the staatsexamen traject) then I would have really tried my best to put together as many words as I could -broken sentences and all. There are also other organizational factors that I find lacking in our school. I would not go on with what those are or else I would end up making a novel instead of a blog. They are enough to note that these factors pull my enthusiasm down and topping it off is the fact that going to school means spending less time with my family. But what more can I do rather than just learn the grammar part on my own? I can only sigh and hope I make a bit of headway somehow.

Tonight for the first time I texted my mother-in-law in dutch. I formed about 6 sentences with 4 sentences grammatically incorrect, 1 misspelled word, and 2 perfectly written sentences. My husband was proud that I was able to write something that may not be grammatically correct but at least was understandable in meaning. He reassured me that I am making good progress and that I only need to speak more to get into the hang of dutch intricate sentence formation. Hearing this I was comforted somehow. I may not have made leaps and bounds with learning the language from the time I came here two years ago but at least I can say I am getting there somehow.

Everytime my husband and kids pick me up from school, Boris asks me, "so how was school today?". Maybe I would refrain from saying my usual comment of "hetzelfde" (the same) and try sharing with him the new words I have learned for that day. That, and then end the conversation with "onveranderd" :D

3 AM Reveries

2010-01-04T03:37:00.004+01:00

Etymology: French rêverie, from Middle French, delirium, from resver, rever to wander, be delirious

As I am writing this, I can hear the faint snoring of my loved ones in the background. Aside from this lovely sound, there is nothing heard from outside. The stillness of the early morning engulfs me to reverie instead of singing me to sleep. What gives? Why so awake at 3 am in the morning?

My body finally succumbed to a cold. The past week it was the little ones who were snotty and sneezy and when their bouts of colds have passed I thought I got out of it unscathed. Or so I thought I did. Anyway my husband was terribly busy the past weekend helping out his father prepare for his vacation. I was left with just Milos to take care of- with me being sickly I couldn't handle the both of them together. I guess this is one of the times when I wish we were in the Philippines. Having the luxury to just relax and recuperate while being assured that the kids are taken cared of by family and extended relatives who live just within the compound. You see I belong to a very extended family. With my grandma's house situated next door to her brother's and some of the houses across the street and a little bit further on belonging to relatives. What a luxury it would be to have fresh coconut juice, a corn cob or two, a book in hand and just lounge around and be secluded for a while.

Ok, I seem to be daydreaming now. But everyone's entitled to some reverie from time to time right? I'm fortunate than most though with my in-laws living just a couple of minutes away. I know I can always count on them when I really need help with the kids or if my condition turns worst, for my mother-in-law to take them after her work and Boris picking them up after. The proximity works well for everyone. The kids love having their Baba and Deda (Serbian terms for grandma and grandpa) and my in-laws love having the time to spend with them. As for me I just love the thought that the kids are growing up being with family. I feel that the children are already at a disadvantage for not being pampered and lavished with attention by my side of the family. But that's what vacations to the Philippines are for. I feel grateful that my in-laws have such an active role in our lives.

But then sometimes that is not the case. There are days when they have other things to do. They have their own lives too and have their schedules as well. Not being able to ask them for some time with the kids coupled with not being 100% fit is a dreaded combination. This makes parenting here in NL difficult since there is no one else to help look after the kids (well not to those who can hire a babysitter or au pair of course). Like what my other mommy friends who are here or living abroad say, parenting abroad is not so easy because even when you are at your hair's end and really feeling lousy there is no time-outs or seclusion. You just have to do your role since there's no one else you can turn to. "Gewoon doen" as the dutch say.

Later Boris will go back to work after a long holiday. I dread the kids' reaction to not having him around. With how I am feeling I would need him too. But then life as a parent have its ups and its downs. Later might not be as bad as I think it would be and if it does, I'm just glad that after 9 hours of being away Boris will come and I could get some badly needed alone time and rest.

Speaking of rest I better try to catch some more zzzs.

Witticisms from Katie

2010-01-02T19:29:00.004+01:00

As a child development specialist and educator I experienced handling children of different ages. My first job as preschool teacher I handled a toddlers class composed mainly of 2 and 1/2 to 3 years. I also got the privilege to handle special and gifted children, been a center director for a housing and educational facility for street children where most of them have no school experience, opened up a childcare and tutorial centers and even taught as psychology instructor for college students. I take pride in knowing I have helped in introducing the love for learning to such young and fertile minds.

But the best job that I have now is filling in the role as educator to our children. Katie will turn 3 this April and Milos 15 months on January 16. So I have my hands full in keeping them stimulated and with both of them verbal, you can just imagine the noise they make when they are at play. Even at his age Milos can now chant Katie's name to wake her up in the morning. He also has the habit of chanting "Mama, Mama" whenever he wants to be sprang out of the crib or playpen. Nowadays he even says "eten, eten, yum,yum" when he is hungry! As for Katie she has such a flair for languages that she can understand three different languages (Dutch, English, and Serbian). She's also picking up Tagalog words here and there but I have yet to really talk to her in Tagalog. Much to my amazement she speaks dutch more fluently than I do. She even makes use of words like "gevaarlijk, ongelooflijk, aardig, grappig, and prachtig". Lately she has been using some new words that she most likely learned from tv. Her favorite term now is the English word "cool".

A few days ago we had the New Year's eve dinner at my parents-in-law's place. Boris had to pick up his brother and Katie went along with him. Along the way Katie blurted out "Uncle Adam is COOL!". That was the first time she used that word. I thought it was just a term she remembered from what she saw that morning. But today I heard from Boris that she repeated it and this time it was during a conversation with her Baba (Serbian word for Grandma, Oma). Anyway this is how the conversation went:

Katie: Bryan and Calvin are sooo cool (her friends from another Pinay-dutch couple)
Baba: Is Baba cool?
Katie: (giggle) Nee! Isabella (her cousin in Spain) is cool!

Funny how she can categorize huh? I better not ask then if Mama and Tata (Serbian for father) are cool!

Here are other funny lines coming from Katie:

---When we were in the Philippines last March, Katie saw a lizard for the first time. She was just turning 2 that time. She looked at it, in awe of the creature and then blurted out "kijk Mama a krokodil!". Naturally her father and I tried our best from not laughing out loud. It's funny how from her perspective the lizard has burgeoned to a crocodile. So I corrected her nicely by saying "no Katie that is not a crocodile" and before I can say what it was she then blurted again (with her face looking like a light bulb turned on!)"ah Mama a DINOSAUR!!!". That time we couldn't keep from laughing along with her!

---These days we rarely get the chance to walk around because of the cold weather. I dread going out and taking the kids to such freezing temperature. But the first chance of sunshine and a slight surge of temperature then we are out of the house. A few days ago we got the opportunity to walk to the stores. Katie in her ever curious mode asked "waar zijn de blaadjes Mama?" (where are the leaves?) I told her that it is winter and leaves fall off before winter comes. I knew this explanation will not be enough as it always is when she asks a question. But with no "but Mama..." following my remark I decided to keep quiet. New Year's morning, I took the kids home with them in the stroller (We live 5 minutes away from my in-laws which is a big blessing!) when all of a sudden Katie had her AHAH moment. In all innocence she said "Mama kijk prikkelstruik!" (Mama look bushes/thicket)pointing to the leafless trees.

Such witticisms coming from a toddler! I can just look forward (and cringe at the same time) in hearing more from her and Milos!

Our language is funny - a fat chance and slim chance are the same thing. ~J. Gustav White

A New Year

2010-01-02T00:50:00.015+01:00

A few hours before New Year Boris accompanied me to my first haircut here in the Netherlands. To those who don't know me, I have long black hair that nearly reaches my waist---well let me correct myself I HAD long black hair. So why have it cut short? I decided to start a new year with a good deed. I realized that I was extremely blessed for 2009 for all the new people I have met, opportunities that came my way and specially the bliss of family life that I knew I should give something back. I remember a line from one of Oprah's guests where the person said "My life is so great I'd wish it to everyone". Wouldn't that be a nice gesture?

Anyway, I couldn't remember when it was exactly that made me decide on donating my hair to be made as wig for cancer patients as my good deed starter. I think it was because of the right shoulder pain that I have been having the past few days that has made me contemplate on the dreaded "C". You see I lost my mother to a long battle with breast cancer metastasized to the bones. She died at the ripe age of 49 years old after almost 8 years of in and outs in the hospital, numerous blood transfusions,operation, radiation and chemotherapy. There were a lot of times during that period that I was gripped with such sadness. One significant moment was when her hair started falling off because of the chemo. I can still recall how she looked at herself in the mirror and with longing touched her head. Mommy, like most women who had chemotherapy and was faced with hair loss, grieved silently about it. My mom is one of the strongest women I know and she faced the double radiation and chemotherapy bravely but in that one moment when she was looking at her face in the mirror, with just those brief seconds, I felt her pain. Looking back now I wish I had the foresight to prepare her wig beforehand. But I was busy personally attending to her in the hospital during that time that I just didn't think of it. But my grandma did. A few days after my mom got back home her wig was ready! And boy was my mom so happy! The twinkle in her eyes said it all.

With all those memories running through my head I made up my mind to donate my hair. But how? I knew about the Pantene Hair Donation for Cancer Patients but I didn't know if they also do it here. After a few minutes of surfing, with Boris giving me the dutch translation of hair donation, I finally found the one I was looking for---

http://geefomhaar.pantene.be/

I found a lot of sites for hair donation but this one from Pantene specifically targets hair donation to be made as wigs for cancer patients. For those who might be interested in hair donation you might also want to check this website:

http://www.haarwensen.nl/

Going back to my haircut. When Boris told the male hairdresser that I would be donating my hair, he was pleasantly surprised about it. I guess the good deed rubbed off on him because he took a long time in making my braid (this is needed before cutting the hair) and in doing the hairdo. He was so meticulous that it took him more than 30 minutes! But it was all worth it in the end. I am happy, the hairdresser was happy, my husband is happy, the kids seem to recognize me still :) and my in-laws say the hair looks good on me. But most of all I am happy to know that in a few weeks or days time someone will get a wig made from the hair that I donated--- someone who like my mom is silently grieving for what she has lost and is fighting for a better chance in life.

"A tree is known by its fruit; a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost; he who sows courtesy reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love."
-Saint Basil

My New Hairdo for 2010